If there’s one thing that liberals are incredibly skilled at, it’s being professional whiners. But things have taken a drastic turn for the worst since election night, where fetal positions, safe spaces, and public tantrums are now just typical behavior by the snowflakes of the left, as they still haven’t found a meaningful way to cope with Hillary not getting elected into the White House. You’d think that after 9 months of a new president in office that liberals would finally grow bored of inventing stupid things to complain about when it comes to Trump, but that’s strangely not the case. They’ve now taken things to a whole new level, and what liberals are now blaming Trump for is so incredibly ridiculous, that it will have you dying with laughter…
When it comes to President Trump, he can never do anything right in the minds of liberals. They whined about the “mean face” he made in his official White House portrait. They continue to make a big deal about the way he shakes people’s hands. The latest “scandal” this morning was how Trump had to take TWO sips of water during a televised speech on Wednesday (OH THE HORROR), where they’re now mercilessly mocking him across social media. (Apparently Trump being human and requiring water is now a scandal-worthy act in our country worthy of mention.)
While the simplest things Trump does continues to cause massive snowflake meltdown on almost a daily basis, you won’t believe what liberals are now blaming Trump for. Liberals are now convinced that President Trump has RUINED THEIR SEX LIVES and claim they have the statistical data to back up it up.
“According to a new survey from Unbound, a group that specializes in ‘the sexual lifestyle,‘ the President of the United States is ruining his citizens’ sex lives. According to the survey, fewer people are having sex than before the 2016 election. And even those who managed to keep their libidos active say that they don’t enjoy sex as much as they did just a little over a year ago,” Truth Exam reported.
Here’s the results of their “scientific” survey:
• 34 percent reported having less sex after the election
• 18 percent said their enjoyment of sex had decreased.
• 17 percent said politics was a “new consideration in their dating life.
Oh but it’s not just sex lives of liberals that Trump is “ruining.” According to this data liberals have produced, Trump is also destroying their personal well being, relationships with family members, their work lives, relationship with their friends, dating lives, as well as their relationships with their significant others.
In response to the question “In what areas of your life have you felt the impact of our political climate?” 507 people responded with, essentially, “all of the areas!”
• 79 percent, my personal well being.
• 53 percent, my relationship with my family.
• 51 percent, my work life.
• 46 percent, my relationship with my friends.
• 26 percent, my dating life.
• 24 percent, my relationship with my significant other.
Oh and let’s not forget all the liberal women who are blaming Trump for their weight gain. (Because it’s now somehow Trump’s fault that these women are unable to get off their flabby fat behinds and get to the gym.)
If Donald Trump is truly killing the sex lives of liberals, we should consider ourselves lucky. If liberals suddenly stopped reproducing, just think of the drastic improvements our country could make within just a short generation! There’d be no one trying to confiscate our guns, the Muslim invasion of our country would stop, most of Americans would get off of food-stamps and actually get a freaking job, and the pussification of our society would abruptly cease, as there would be no new snowflakes bred into existence then able to vomit their opinions into the universe.
Who knew that “making America great again” was simply Trump’s plan to become president so that liberals would no longer want to reproduce! This man is much smarter than we gave him credit for! Pure genius!
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BREAKING! Prince Harry Can’t Marry Her! The SECRET IS OUT!!!
IS MARKLE GETTING THE BOOT?
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have a considerable problem on their hands. This could be the end of their engagement and soon to be married. If they don’t figure this out, then there’s going to be an absolute failure going on, and it’s sure to upset the Queen of England. Royal weddings are usually something pleasant to look forward to, but this could be different if things don’t pan out very well for Harry and Meghan.
Weddings often consist of a million different things that need to be planned. Everything from chairs, invitation, food, guest list, where people will sit, dealing with future in-laws, and all kinds of things you don’t even imagine until it’s time to get married. Then you realize how much is involved and the last thing you need is an extra problem added to the list of tasks you’re already dealing with.
That’s what Harry’s dealing with right now. He found out that his little Miss Markle was previously married, divorced, and that’s a significant setback for royal weddings. The Church of England frowns upon royalty wedding divorcees. They unofficially forbid people to marry someone who was previously married. It’s not set in stone or law, but they frown upon it so hard that people simply don’t do it. If they do, it’s very rare. At some point, people have to accept that not every marriage works out to be the wonderful storybook fairytale everyone woman desired. There have been times where royalty has married divorced people but is very, very rare. If Prince Harry goes through with this wedding to Markle, then this would be one of those sporadic incidents.
Think this situation can get any more interesting? There’s another catch. We’re not sure what Markle’s religion is. This is a kink in the chain of royal weddings because there could be restrictions on who royalty can marry when it comes to religion.
“For centuries, divorce was frowned upon by the Church of England and members of the British royal family were forbidden — or at the very least, strongly discouraged — from marrying someone who was divorced.
The history-shaking controversy surrounding Edward’s abdication, as fans of The Crown will attest, has never been forgotten by Queen Elizabeth, who was just 10 when her uncle stepped aside — paving the way for her ascension to the throne. Edward married Simpson in 1937 in exile in France.
But times have changed.
In 2002, the General Synod – the governing body of the Church of England – voted to recognize “that some marriages regrettably do fail.” They added, “there are exceptional circumstances in which a divorced person may be married in church during the lifetime of a former spouse.” Any decision “as to whether or not to solemnize such a marriage in church after divorce rests with the minister.”
Times have changed and people realized that not every wedding blossoms into the most beautiful work of art. That’s one hurdle cleared for Prince Harry to put the ring on Markle’s finger. But what about her religion? Religion can be another roadblock for Prince Harry and Markle.
People talks about that too:
“In order to remain in the line of succession, members of the royal family cannot be Catholic. The vast majority are members of the Church of England, with the Queen serving as the head of the church. And until 2013, laws forbade members of the family from marrying someone who is Catholic. It was a restriction couples could work around: Peter Phillips’s wife, Autumn, converted from Catholicism before their May 2008 wedding. If she hadn’t, Phillips — the Queen’s eldest grandchild, who is 13th in line to the throne — would have lost his place in the line of succession.
However, in 2013, Britain modernized their laws. Now, those in the immediate line of succession can marry anyone they like, regardless of religion (provided they have permission from the monarch if they’re one of the first six in line to the throne). The rules regarding gender were also changed so that a first-born daughter would inherit the throne, irrespective of whether a boy followed. Under the previous primogeniture rule, any boy would take priority over an older sister.”
We haven’t been able to confirm Markle’s religion, so we’re not entirely sure if their wedding will be delayed, stopped, or go through due to religious reasons.
She’s either Jewish or Catholic, but people can’t pinpoint it just yet.
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BREAKING NEWS!! Kathy Griffin SHOOTING!!
HER LIFE IS OVER!
It’s all over for Kathy Griffin. Her career in America is officially over. We thought it was over before, but now it’s hitting the big time and what just happened to her has cemented her career six feet under like a fresh corpse in a Chicago shooting. Let’s backtrack a bit, and then I’ll tell you more about what happened that solidified Trump fans with the cheerful notion that Kathy Griffin is over and she buried her career!
Kathy Griffin was on tour overseas because she couldn’t find work in America. After she displayed a picture of herself holding a beheaded Trump head, the world lit her on fire via social media outbursts. It was demonic, and even some of her supporters were disgusted by her vile demonstration of free speech. Sure, speech is free to use, but when misused it has immense backlash upon the speaker. In this case, Kathy Griffin dumped her career down a toilet the moment she thought she was funny and provocative. There wasn’t much amusing or provocative about her beheaded Trump photo, but it was fouler than anything, and she certainly paid the price. Her downfall was so sad that even Squatty Potty flushed her.
After her rotten picture wrecked her career, she posted a shaved head sulking video that was virtually begging for a second chance. There’s one thing I know about comedians, and it’s this: some have it, some don’t, and she doesn’t. Her video was unfortunate and people could sniff the fakery in it as she begged for her career to come back, but she didn’t have much of a job to begin with. A one night gig for New Year’s Eve and Squatty Potty aren’t much to write home about. Here’s her video.
Now here we are talking about Kathy Griffin and the word “shooting,” and there are two sides to what happened. The first bit about her shooting is that she won’t be shooting any new material in America. The second piece of that Griffin puzzle is the reason why she won’t be shooting new stuff.
Kathy Griffin has told people that she’s scared to work in America because she’s afraid that someone will shoot her. She said it. Straight from her mouth. Direct from the source herself. While she might be scared to work in America, the other thing is this – I don’t think anyone wants her to work for them anyway!
— The Hill (@thehill) December 27, 2017
Via The Hill:
“Comedian Kathy Griffin says that she has been welcomed abroad, but wishes she could go on a tour in the U.S. “without getting shot.”
“They were thrilled to have someone come over and make fun of Trump,” said Griffin, who recently finished up a 15-country world tour, during an interview with Politico published Wednesday.
“I wish I could tour in the U.S. without getting shot — I know I can’t. I was in the middle of a 50-city tour when the tweet happened. It was canceled in 24 hours.”
Americans listened to Kathy’s fake apology, watched her leave America and travel across seas where she desperately found someone to let her work, and now she’s telling people she’s afraid to get shot? I don’t think there’s a legal gun owner who would be stupid enough ever to discharge their weapon at Griffin. People wouldn’t throw their own life away to make a point to a fledgling comedian who can’t write a joke. If Griffin walked the streets of America, she would either be ignored or asked for a selfie in which someone might post on social media as a joke.
Her comments about getting shot in America is a stab at Americans. Does she think people care about her enough that they would shoot her and risk a life in prison?
Let’s be real with Kathy Griffin and remind her that the only thing getting shot will be her taking another selfie, but that’s about it.
She won’t be shooting any new material in America unless someone is desperate to hire someone.
She won’t get shot by any American who knows who she is because they won’t be stupid enough to wreck their own lives as badly as she ruined her career.
Maybe she’ll get lucky and shoot some content in a third world country if someone there doesn’t shoot her with a blow dart first.
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BREAKING NEWS: Hollywood Star Just Found With Something Of Hillary’s On His Body – This Is SICK!
Hollywood can use all the help it can get right now. Celebrities have been caught and accused in so many sexual assault scandals that most people can’t keep up with all of them anymore. For a while, it seemed like there was a new accusation every day where a well-known celebrity allegedly misbehaved in a possibly sexual nature many years ago. While some crimes happened more recently, the ones that occurred years ago went unnoticed because the alleged victim often cared more about their career, which makes us wonder who the real criminal is.
It’s no shock that another Hollywood celebrity was just caught doing something incredibly bizarre. What he did doesn’t fall in line with sexual assault, rape, or inappropriate touching, but it sure is strange, and it has many people shaking their heads. The Hollywood star showed social media how he put something of Hillary Clinton on his body and I laughed so hard when I saw it.
Pete Davidson, a ‘star’ on Saturday Night Live, got a tattoo of Hillary Clinton on himself. This wasn’t just any old Hillary Clinton. This was his “hero” and “badass,” Hillary Clinton. That’s right folks! The 24-year old Davidson now wears Hillary Clinton on his body.
It’s hard to make that kind of thing up, so here’s evidence and a post from Davidson’s Instagram account. We took a screenshot in case Davidson deletes the post and gets the tattoo removed.
I would be very mad with Jon Mesa because that’s relatively low skilled tattoo. You would think with all the money that Davidson earns on Saturday Night Live that he may have found a talented tattoo artist instead of getting something that looks like it was etched in a marble notebook by a fifth grader who is a future social justice warrior who spends his days drawing pictures of Hillary Clinton. This is not much different than the pictures Seth was drawing as a young boy in the movie Superbad. You can YouTube that if you’re unfamiliar.
Breitbart confirmed that the tattoo was real, and not a joke by Davidson, which sadly would’ve been his funniest.
“The tattoo artist, Jon Mesa of No Idols Tattoo in New York, confirmed that the tattoo was both real and permanent.
“Yes, its real,” he told Us Weekly on Friday. “Just did it last night at my shop No Idols Tattoo on Bowery and Grand! It’s a small one on his right leg.”
It gets better. Hillary Clinton responded and chimed in with a joke of her own, except her joke came off a little strange. She claimed to have a Pete Davidson tattoo for years. I know that’s just friendly banter, but could you imagine if she did and posted a picture of her tattoo?
“Thanks, @petedavidson, This makes it significantly less awkward that I’ve had a Pete Davidson tattoo for years,” she wrote. “But seriously, I’m honored. Merry Christmas my friend.”
Hollywood certainly pulls through in the clutch when it’s referred to as Hollyweird. For a male comedian on Saturday Night Live to get a tattoo of Hillary Clinton is just beyond bizarre. I’m curious what it is about her that makes her his hero. Of course, this could all be a long-winded bit.
This could be Davidson losing a bet.
This could be Davidson saying “hold my drink” as he attempts to go viral. And he almost went viral. While many websites are talking about it with their snooty noses up in the air and their laughter buttons being pushed, the guy racked in almost 50,000 ‘likes’ on Instagram. That’s pretty good for most people. However, that’s not much at all for a celebrity on one of the most well-known television shows in recent history. The fact that he’s on Saturday Night Live and only got almost 50,000 “likes” (as of now, the time this was written), is rather low and gives us some information to think about.
If he can’t muster 100,000 “likes” on a picture of him expressing his admiration for his hero, Hillary Clinton, then one of a few things is true.
- His fans don’t like Hillary Clinton. Davidson has 458k followers and could only manage almost 50k on tattoo post.
- His fans could be fake.
- His fans don’t like him, they just followed him in hopes to get a refollow.
I wonder what’s next for Pete Davidson. Will he get a tattoo of Bernie Sanders and a socialist America with 300 million poor people knocking on his vacation home door?
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BREAKING!! TRUMP Is ARRESTING BOTH!! FINALLY!!!
THAT TOOK BALLS!!
BREAKING!! The FBI Just RAIDED His House!!
CLUB GITMO HERE THEY COME!
BREAKING!!! CALIFORNIA Gov To Be PROSECUTED!
TIME IS UP!!
BREAKING!!! TRUMP FINALLY Did It!! HERE Comes The RIOTS!!!
TIME IS UP!
BREAKING! Prince Harry Can’t Marry Her! The SECRET IS OUT!!!
IS MARKLE GETTING THE BOOT?